Death is an aspect of life

Characters in movies do have a psychological impact on our children, and these effects can be both positive and negative. We can use them as a tool to engage a conversation about topics such as death and dying, which could be a difficult topic to approach with our young ones. Using characters as an example may help you to go all the way through, in such difficult times.

But, of course, if you're not leaving your child in front of the TV all day long! (Your TV is not a Babysitter!)

In the films sometimes, they do have to deal with a death scene, for example, you could find: Gaston in the Beauty and the Beast, the Evil Queen in Snow White, McLeach in The Rescuers, Professor Rattigan in The Great Mouse Detective or Frollo in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Those characters: most of them, they fall, or they die "by accident".

Think about it; you have the mean guy, falling to its death. It gives an excuse to the hero from having to killing him. This death means he is not guilty of murder, and so, it means that he still is a hero figure. Young viewers do not have the impression that "killing" is the answer to justice.

What about Ursula? Eric killed her after all!

Well no, actually, he impales her with the ship, which stops her, but it is the bow that got struck by lightning, so she died by electrocution, not by Eric.

Still, she had it coming!

Killed by his brother. I mean, really?

The exception is with Mufasa's death and. Get the tissues ready everyone. We see it's the ugly Scar who kills him; it wasn't an accident.

Death is something you can not avoid, and it could also be painful, especially for children.

People respond and react to it in different ways. Children do not yet have the experience that we have. Most of them are unprepared or not mature enough to deal with death in real life, with their loved ones and even with a character's death in a movie. They are still in an experiencing and playing "phase".

Which means they haven't made up their mind yet, and they do not have experienced enough to realise what the real world is and what imaginative world is? They are still very impressionable young beings.

The Comprehension of Death

A five-year-old does not understand that death is final and permanent. He/she does not have the notion of time yet. Children manage to understand death as being a fact around the age of 10-12 years old. Their comprehension of death depends on their experience and their psychological development. In that situation, a child may not understand that death is permanent, and it is final.

It is why how essential to understand that death is inevitable and, well "normal". We can see the development in two stages:

1. The first development stage is to understanding what death is and being able to recognise it when they hear it. At this point, a child should feel self-protected, they need to know that just because someone passed, does not mean the child or a parent is in danger.
2. The second development stage is to understanding that death is real. And accepting the emotions that they could feel. We know it as "the grieving process", a process, which we all need to go through. Reassure them that there is nothing wrong about remembering the time they've spent with them in the past. And maintaining those memories isn't wrong either. We should never give a child the hope that a loved one may "come back" after death. However, they're still present in our memory, and we can again feel connected to them.

Depending on the age and the developing progress, a child may use expressions, you may have heard already, such as "that person won't wake up anymore" or "he's taking a long trip" or "nap". It helps them to reduce the impact of death in their minds, and it is also to protect themselves from this sad thought. Although describing death as a long "sleep" might be a bit confusing, and it may also create a new fear when going to sleep at night. Like if death will happen to them or others during the night.

It is a parent's job to watch films with them, and Disney films may help you to talk through about a death scene. It's also the occasion to clarify that some views are quite exaggerated. So, helping them realising facts from reality to fiction. And, of course, spending some quality time with your child.

Don't worry! It is OK to say "I do not know". I do not know what happens after death, how it feels. Your child is not going to blame you for that. But he is going to be thankful to hear from you, telling the truth.

Some parents say that grandpa is still watching over you; he is in the sky; he is with the angels. But you may be wrong! It is fine to give a comfortable image to your child. But please, make sure your child understands that you do not know for sure what happens after death. But you BELIEVE that he may still be around. It is your opinion, not necessarily the truth. Ask your child what he believes if he has an idea about this.

Sniff...